Q.P.V.S. (Quitters' Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome)

[TiC]EVIL.'s post:

"QPV Syndrome" (Quitters' Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome) is plaguing a few quitters.

In online gaming, people (mostly males) come and go on a regular basis as is part of tens of thousands of years of the human animal's bred survival instincts to fight, conquer, and move on and spread his genes.

The [TiC]GRL (Genetic Research Lab) has isolated the gene that we believe leads a person to be pre-disposed to a very high chance of contracting QPV Syndrome.

"QPV" Syndrome (Quitters' Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome) is a disease that is plaguing a few QUITTERS. Most quitters that are true men do not surcome to QPV Syndrome. It seems that males that are not well developed in maturity are highly susceptible to contracting this disease especial after leaving a group of internet hunters commonly called a "clan". If you have a large clan that exists a long time and if the clan is a rated as a "good clan" (or better) the likelihood of a case of QPVS surfacing is quite possible.
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WHAT ARE the GENERAL SYMPTOMS OF "QPV" Syndrome:
1. Someone quits an internet hunter group (a "clan") and then they start harassing the same clan, simply because they are immature, petty, vindictive and are seeking spiteful revenge at all cost.

2. UN-provoked harassing your former clan in any way shape of form.

3. Being a mean jerk to people. USING people to hurt others at all cost simply for their own spiteful vindictiveness as an attempt to DESTROY the infected person's OLD Clan.
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DETAILED LISTS of VARIOUS SYMPTOMS of QPVS:
1A. Harassing recruitment threads of their former clan.

1B. Showing no discipline and acting on every childish thoughts to do repeated mean and immature acts of spitefulness with no regard for former friends that once helped you.

1C. Organizing harassment campaigns.

1D. Excessive nose picking, then eating the picked nose particles as if it was some type of candy.

1E. Advanced cases of QPVS can lead to years of abuse of the infected person harassing others. The Infected person will find himself/herself without any friends and then blame it on OTHER people. The effects of his harassment can "bleed over" into his non-internet life, similar to the effects of the various stages of Alcoholism does.

1F. Sometimes, at night after a very stressfully day, the subjects that are infected with QPVS have been know to wet the bed repeatedly and cry while doing so. Uttering the words "Momma, momma, momma I peed my pants again". While this is a very classic example of "Mommas-Boy-ism", we do not believe it is the same disease as QPVS and is separate disease.

1F. The infected person will constantly try to DESTROY their old clan at any cost. Sometimes people that are severely infected will harass innocent people for months and months and months. People that also are effected by "S.B.D." (Small Brain Disease) have been known to harass their old clan for 8++ months.
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NOTE:
KNOWN MULTIPLIERS:
We have discovered that there are a few "MULTIPLIERS" that greatly exaggerate the effects of a case of QSVS. If the infected person QUITS abruptly from a really good clan, the effects can be devastating once he QUITS. The "fun", that a normal person has at a "good clan", only causes a QPVS infected person the unusual effect of intense rages of childish jealousy after they QUIT. The better the Clan, the worse and under-developed the maturity of the male, the worst the case of QPV Syndrome becomes.
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NOTE:
INFECTION VULNERABILITY:
If the male was not allowed to seek full male development because his mother over shadowed his male masculinity with massive constant F.C.D. (female control desire), the male will be greatly under developed maturity wise. A common term to describe a male, that was that was tightly controlled and never developed masculinity and lacks maturity, is an often seen medical condition known as the "MB Effect". The M.B. Effect (Momma's Boy Effect) can at times severely effect the future performance of males that suffer from it, even years and years into the future.
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ADVANCED CASES OF QPVS THAT GO NON-TREATED:
1. General:
There are many documented cases where QPVS infected persons will spend hours and hours of free time harassing others of their old clan to the point, that even after 8+ months, the QUITTERS' Clan will have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to show for the past 8+ months in THEIR pitiful new "clan". No new recruits, no tutorials, NOTHING but waste and destruction. This is at a great cost for the online community as the infected person will be destroying and stopping many others in "good clans" from helping the gaming community at this time period too. The disease must be treated quickly.

2. Case "cliff59-13July2002-brokenailarterycopter":
In the documented "cliff59-13July2002-brokenailarterycopter" case, the infected person was so severely suffering from a QPVS attack, that was brought on by complications of also being co-infected with SBD (Small Brain Disease) and a flare up of Momma-Boy-ism, it over whelmed the infected person to the point of a "Grand-maul QPVS" attack. The infected person broke a finger nail off while fanatically picking his nose and humming to himself and shaking while reading his old clan's message board in a spite filled rage. The infected person's major nasal artery was cut in the process. This required a helicopter evac to a major trauma center. QPVS is no laughing matter and is very dangerous to those infected and those poor souls in "good clans" that suffer from beginning targets of the infected person's childish spiteful vindictiveness.
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EMERGENCY MEDICAL TREATMENT FOR QPVS:
1. Disconnect the QPVS infected person from the internet before he spreads his disease IMMEDIATELY!!

2. Get the QPVS infected person to calm down. Tell a joke if possible. Comment on the infected person's good playing skillz (even if they have none.)

3. Get the infected person to remove his finger(S) from his nose. It is very dangerous for the infected person to continue to dig into their nose un-controllably (for them and for bystanders.)

4. To prevent the QPVS infected person from re-inserting his fingers into his nose, put mittens on his/her hands and tape or tie them to his arms so he can not chew them off.

5. Rush the infected person to the EITC (Emergency Immaturity Treatment Center) ASAP!!
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THE CURE:
The only know cure for QSVS at this time is:

For the jerk wads to "GROW UP" and  "GET OVER IT" and "MOVE ON" and leave their old Clan alone. Also to eat a big ham sandwich daily, as this will diminish their constant over whelming desires to pick their nose and eat it. Lack of discipline and spitefulness are not traits of a mature MAN.
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Please, help us fight this terrible disease, some things just are not funny?


 

[TiC]Itsbry's Response:

As the research labs are operating with skeleton crews, our forward research concerning 'QPVS' has slowed. Our database is always kept current and there is no question that we are on an ever-expanding watch for this horrible syndrome's effects. Stay tuned for up-to-date information concerning the absolute latest regarding this issue.

And this researcher still finds it pretty dang funny, too!



 

[TiC]Itsbry's Response:

As one of the [TiC]medics, I am shocked to see the resurgence of this all-too-common affliction.

I have summoned the 92bravos and the 91alphas (lab techs and combat medics) to our TMC (troop medical clinic). We will fire up the research teams and get this thing solved soon enough!

Our fearless leader  has been seen calmly stroking the keyboard with a strange smirk on his mug. We are sending the [TiC]strategic planners to his locale to aid in the anti-QPVS campaign.

I would fight and die for my country whether we were right or wrong, and I will do the same for the Clan to which I pledge my allegiance. Woe be unto those who breach our perimeters...



 

[TiC]EVIL.'s Response:
 

Yes Doctor [TiC]Itsbry,
I am glad you are here, I think maybe this might be a mutated viral infection of QPVS, possibly the "clanfailureitosis strain". What treatment do you think we should give him, I saw infected person in a public forum and he was doing the infantile rock and whispering

"EVIL DiD it, I miss [TiC],,,, whaaaaa"

over and over as he defaced a [TiC] recruitment ad. I am not sure, he might have been saying

"Even doing this I miss [TiC],,whaaaaaa"

I am not for sure, he was rocking in the corner next to the [TiC]Spray paint logo on the Dust map, you know the one I am talking about. He was sniffling on his tears and blowing nasal mucus balloons the size of golf balls. It looked like a very very bad attack of QPVS. There was a blood trail where he had dug his nose raw and pool of blood had collected under him where he was rocking. Do you think we should dart him and operate, or just let him "rock off" his QPVS attack?

Your expert advice might prevent the spread of this terrible disease, who knows, it might be an air borne variant.

What's your diagnosis Dr.[TiC]Itsbry ??

How many CCs of the antidote does he need this time, will the normal antidote even work as he has started to rot with envy.

Should we alert the media and the GDCC (Global Disease Control Center) ?

Should we call in the Medivac Chopper ??



 

[TiC]Itsbry's Response:

Consulting the rest of the [TiC] medical team, we have a few options before us concerning QPVS (Quitter's Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome). I shall try to be as straightforward as I can in their descriptions as you all are needed on the front lines. Forgive us if our summaries are a tad shocking, but it is necessary to give an absolutely accurate diagnosis of the situation.

The team here at the [TiC]EITC (Emergency Immaturity Treatment Center) has issued a Level One Alert to all [TiC]Brothers regarding an overwhelming influx of Net-Mosquitoes and Net-Leeches

Symptoms of this new threat may include, but not limited to the following:

1.*Saliva-soaked bandages on hands (from desperate attempts at chewing the fingers, listed in a previous post).

2..*Enlarged nasal passages, possibly upturned (or pig-like) nasal membrane (from incessantly forcing the bandaged fingers into the nose to retrieve the so-desired "Booger").

3.*Frantic repeating of the phrase "OMG, TiC is a bunch of campers!"

4.*Hurried evacuation of [TiC] saturated area.

Some of the other indications that have arisen from the sludge on the bottom of the forum world include highly vindictive and malicious posts. Here are some lines from a number of those afflicted Net***holes:
"...By all means consider joining the TiC clan...you'll get to know some really great guys....and one really great jerk. Most of the TiC members are really great guys. It's too bad their leader is such a pathetic person..."
"...why do you publicize your server, it won't work much especially here...post something meaningful..."
"...If they ever replace the leader with a human, it might be a good club..."
"...to ask people to switch teams so 1 clan can be on same team is n00b..."
"...[TiC] Talk is Cheap I don't like the name, and u guys are mature and old not like us..."
"...Who the hell do they think they are just popping in and asking people to join their clan? I've never heard of them once, so there is no possible way they can be that good at all..."

The [TiC]EITC can suggest these options:

1. Complete cauterization (thermal sanitizing) of the servers that provide the forums that are afflicted. The [TiC]Clan won't accept the plausible deniability necessary to cover the loss of innocent bandwidth, so this isn't a solution.

2. Surgical removal of the individuals responsible for the continued spread of QPVS. This may involve some form of activity undermining the principles of the [TiC]Clan and it's beloved country, the USA, so this isn't a solution.

3. A 'Grow-Up' policy by which all members of the almighty [TiC]Clan continue to help those struggling to keep their sanity about them amidst the swirling, sucking forum-holes that are the scourge of the 'net. We can only accept mature people into our circle and hold true to our 'Help-Others' policies if we are to battle the invisible viri, worms, and Trojan horses that are the Petty, Vindictive Quitters!


 

[TiC]EVIL.'s Response:

Dr.[TiC]Itsbry,
your analysis is thoroughly shocking. Maybe we should contact the GDCC (Global Disease Command Center) and alert them to this latest out break.

What do the other [TiC] Emergency Treatment think we should do to help solve this latest out break. There is a whitepaper due out next month on a surgical procedure to reverse the biggestpignosefrompickingitus . More time needs to be spent on analyzing this tragic disease.

Thank goodness for [TiC]Clan's expertise in treating QPVS (Quitter's Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome).

PS.

Now this post is funny ;-)
 

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This page was originally created by [TiC]EVIL and [TiC]Itsbry 15mar03. Last updated 02/07/04.