E.I.T.C. (Emergency Immaturity Treatment Center):

[TiC]Itsbry's post:

The team here at the Emergency Immaturity Treatment Center has issued a Level One Alert to all [TiC]Brothers regarding an overwhelming influx of Net-Mosquitoes and Net-Leeches. These internet runts have been reported as falsifying their level of maturity to attain certain medical supplies which we here at the [TiC]EITC feel can and may well be used in an internet attack against innocent clans, including our own.

All members of the [TiC]Clan and others are asked to watch for signs of these nose-pickers and report them to the [TiC]World Headquarters immediately. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO AID OR ASSIST THEM IN ANY WAY! A serious condition as described in the previous post could be HIGHLY contagious!

Here again, the symptoms of this new threat may include, but not limited to the following:

1. *Saliva-soaked bandages on hands (from desperate attempts at chewing the fingers, listed in previous post).

2.*Enlarged nasal passages, possibly upturned (or pig-like) nasal membrane (from incessantly forcing the bandaged fingers into the nose to retrieve the so-desired "Booger").

3.*Frantic repeating of the phrase "OMG, TiC is a bunch of campers!"

4.*Hurried evacuation of [TiC] saturated area.

These and other symptoms have been observed and so noted in the [TiC]Logbook here at the EITC and hopefully it can be properly treated. Our fearless leader has not yet signed the official forms which will provide massive funding for an "Anti-Booger-Eating" campaign, not to mention the eradication of those responsible for it's origin, however it is almost an assured event due to these latest developments.

The [TiC]EITC will provide more information as it becomes available. All sightings should be reported  for proper evaluation and subsequent cauterization.

NOTE: Be on alert for internet-based attacks in all forms of communication, such as RW, ICQ, and email.

*end of transmission*


 

[TiC]EVIL.'s Response:

Hello Dr.[TiC]ItsBry,
your report above was thorough and eye opening. Everyone knows of your award winning documentary titled "Net-mosquitoes, pulling their fingers out of their noses". It has received praise from all over and no one doubts your tried and true first aid treatment process of treating "QPVS" by duck taping mittens to the "QPVS" infected person's hands to keep them from needling in their noses during a "QPVS" attack. I think your extensive knowledge with handling the effects of "QPVS" (Quitters' Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome) has helped many the World over. We all must work together to prevent the spread of "QPVS" (Quitter's Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome) and your efforts in getting "QPVS" listed as a Class2 disease was a very important step. Your relentless research effort to help treat and stop the spread of QPVS is equaled by no other.

The world is grateful for your contributions.

Are there any other researchers that would like to comment on any of the other effective treatment plans for "QPVS" (Quitter's Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome)?

QPVS is a very serious disease affecting many. There are many net-mosquitoes infected with "QPVS", but yet the main stream media is focusing on "West Nile Virus" which effects less than 100 people in all of North America (God have pity on their poor souls and the families of those affected by that terrible disease). We believe that "QPVS" (Quitter's Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome), while not a deadly disease, is very contagious and the over all effects on society will only spiral out of control unless the brave researchers headed by the world leaders of QPVS prevention at [TiC]EITC (Emergency Immaturity Treatment Center) bring the importance of this issue to the light of the main stream media.

Dr.[TiC]ItsBry, while a pioneer in the field of treatment and prevention of QPVS still needs your help as we struggle to find a way to control the spread of QPVS (Quitters' Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome).

As QPVS infected net-mosquitoes will pick their noses until it bleeds, preventing the spread of QPVS is no laughing matter. Volunteer today to help us in this noble cause of preventing the spread of QPVS?


Quick Tip List for Identifying "QPVS" SYMPTOMS:
(Quitters' Petty Vindictiveness Syndrome)

1. THEY QUIT:
The suspected infected person was formerly in a real clan and either quit or was kicked out, but have not yet found anything near to the heavenly bliss of their old clan. Infected person might be a "loner" now or be grouping with other QPVS infected person.

2. THEIR FINGERS ARE BLOODY:
The effects of QPVS can be devastating. The spasmatic un-controllable picking of their nose (that a QPVS infected person does) has a slang name called "Needling" (needle-ing). "Needling" is where the QPVS infected person becomes frantic while reading his past clan's message board and starts to shake and rock and dig in his nose with (1) or more fingers as he stabs his finger into his nasal cavities like a "needle".

3. NOT HUNGRY AT MEAL TIME:
QPVS infected person will spend hours studying ways to attack and harass their old clan, while the QPVS infected person is doing this they will be "Needling" and any particles dislodged from their nasal cavities will be eaten our offered as prizes to all other QPVS infected net-mosquitoes in their immediate area.

4. HARASSING THEIR OLD CLAN UN-PROVOKED:
They relentless harass their old clan UN-provoked by a variety of means: sending harassing communications to their old clan's Members, harassing their old clan's recruitment ads, trying to join servers that they were banned from for previous harassment, and WHINING.

5. THEIR ROGER WILCO VOICE SOUNDS DISTORTED:
The distortion of a QPVS infected person can be caused by (3) effects:

A.) The infected person has (2) or more fingers inserted into his nose (needling) while he is trying to talk on the Roger Wilco voice channel, in-game voice, or other voice program channel.

B.) The QPVS infected person's nasal cavity has become "dug out" from extensive "needling" and distorted, causing pig-nose-itios and this distorts his voice.

C.) After several days of needling, even QPVS infected person can not bare to stick their finger into their noses as they are a bloody swollen mess, instead, the QPVS infected person will suck his thumb and deny it.

6. THEY TRY TO USE PEOPLE:
Immature people, that where documented as being mean UN-provoked to others while in a clan (or were KiCKED out for it), have a very high pre-disposition to becoming infected with "QPVS". If someone was nasty to you or ignored you while he in your clan, they suddenly now has an interest in you because you have RCON or have server, this is known as "serverleechinois" (server-leech-ing-ois). If the infected person is spending untold hours hang out with you -AFTER- he quit or was kicked out of a clan and it appears like he is USING you, your suspicions are correct, the infected person most certainly has "QPVS".

7. LACK OF DISCIPLINE, DENYING BEING INFECTED WITH QPVS, LIEING.
It is very common for QPVS infected person to deny that they are infected with QPVS. Even after 8+months of harassing their old clan's recruitment ads, they will deny that they have ever done any harassment at all even when confronted with the evidence of 60+ harassing posts publicly. In this aspect, QPVS is similar to alcoholism. The infected person lack the discipline to MOVE ON. They also lack the fortitude to just accept responsibility for their fate and instead use "PROJECTION" and try to blame others for the non-stop harassment campaign they are running. The QPVS infected person will deny the fits of harassing his old clan similar to the way an alcoholic denies he is an alcoholic even when obviously drunk. Advanced stages of QPVS can lead to "oblivionitios" where the infected person rocks, pick their nose (needling), and harasses their old clan's recruitment for 8+months.

8. THEY HAVE NO-THING to SHOW FOR THE PAST +8months:
Since an QPVS infected person has done NO-thing but harass his old clan, he will have NO-thing to show for the past 8+months but DESTRUCTION (harassing recruitment ads, pissed off people, MORE co-infected QPVS net-mosquitoes.) It is not uncommon for losers infected with QPVS to not even have a web page and to have NOT recruited even (1) new recruit in 8+months, DESPITE their non-stop criticalness of their OLD Clan, THEIR "clan" is a BUNCH OF LOSERS that have done NOTHING in 8 months EXCEPT destroy and piss people off.
.
.


This warning list from EITC should be posted at a prominent place at all Clan Dinning Areas.

Heed the warnings, QPVS is very contagious!!

Volunteer today to stop the spread QPVS and the spread of it's DESTRUCTION!!
.

 

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This page was originally created by [TiC]Itsbry and [TiC]EVIL 15mar03. Last updated 03/18/03.